The return of order... kindof.

My life will never have real order. I don't really want it in fact. What I do want is a little routine. I like to know who needs to be where and when. I like to know what my responsibilities are with regard to house and kids and spouse. It seems that when we have a break from school (aka routine) then I am in the unknown.

The boys returned to school today and were AMAZINGLY easy to get up and moving. They both ate good breakfasts with eggs and the works. I made about the most perfect omelet of my entire life for Nic this morning! Yeah me!

Once I was able to get everyone off to school I sat for a few and just enjoyed the stillness. The house wasn't really still, lots still going on around me, but it felt more still than it had in weeks. Literally.

After everyone left and I had enjoyed the stillness I moved and moved and moved. I did laundry. I showered and dressed for the day. I ran the dishwasher. I went to the grocery. With a list! I returned phone calls. I faxed. I planned dinner. I had lunch. I worked on my OLW project. I got a headache. I got frustrated. I slowed down. I took a pill. I rested. I tried again. I got the boys. I made dinner. I finished laundry. I invited family time. I blogged. I succeeded!

And now with a true sense of accomplishment I can rest. But before I do I will take a moment and pray. I will pray for peace in my heart. Pray for friends who are ill. I will pray for travelers and students and parents I know. I will pray for my kids and my husband. I will pray for my sister and brothers and parents and those whom they love. I will pray in thanksgiving and I will pray for my wants and God will listen because it is part of the routine that we have. God and me. That routine stays even when the kids are out of school.

Grace

That's it!!!! That is my OLW for 2011.

GRACE

I had a LONG list.... I narrowed it. I researched. I narrowed some more. I reduced it down to 5. Then I just jumped in and held on and now I'm letting go and hoping that GRACE follows!

My goal in using the word GRACE is deep and shallow and everything in between. I have signed up for a year-long class through Big Picture Classes that will be taught by Ali Edwards. Ali is the one who has inspired my OLW in the past three years so this opportunity to get her perspecitve and guidance through this year is pretty appealing.

So, it is out in the universe now and I will write more and share more about the whole impact of my OLW in my life this year.

Recollections and looking ahead!

2010. I thought it was going to be a chillin kind of year. And for the most part it was. We had blips of excitement and tragedy but mostly we just chilled.


As I type this I recall some of the bigger blips.


Losing Pete suddenly in October. I still expect to hear him clip clip clip through the house as I move about. I think that tomorrow I will finally clean the entry window that is covered with the last of his nose prints. It's time. I think.


Nic struggling with 6th grade. I do not recall middle school being so tough. Maybe because my middle school was still my elementary school? Maybe because we live in a different time and place than 25 years ago. I don't know for sure but I do know that my kid is AMAZING and if everyone could just see that about him the world would be a better place.


Will Baker can play ball! He did this summer and with his team and great coaches he even earned MVP one game! He needs to believe in himself. If he could see some footage of his great plays perhaps he would SEE that he rocks!


Fred is very patient. I went back to work for a couple of months in the spring and my hubby supported me through it all. Even though he would rather I work a day or two a week. He supported me working 5 days a week for 8 weeks. What a guy.


Being away from "home" doesn't get easier. I still get jealous of my sister, brother, niece and nephews for being so close to my parents. I still wish we were all rich with enough money for quarterly trips north or south, depending on the weather. I have been wandering far from home for a dozen years but I still miss Indy and all the people that I love who live there.

Looking forward I can see great things. I am optimistic that this year will be rich with goodness for me and my family. My boys will continue to be successful in school and relationships. Fred and I will continue on our our path TOGETHER for better or worse. We will all strive to impact the world around us in positive ways. We will volunteer, pitch-in, set good examples and grow.

I am still narrowing down my OLW choice for 2011. It is proving a bit challenging as I have a lot I'd like to focus on this year. I will make my choice by Monday. It seems a proper day to commit and start the journey.

In conclusion I just have to go on record in print and say that I am feeling VERY BLESSED right now. My family is healthy in body and spirit. My marriage is strong. My kids are beyond amazing and LIFE IS GOOD. I do not take that for granted. I thank God for his provisions and I take some responsibility in the fact that we do things well around here. It's good for sure!

I really do have stuff to write about.

I just haven't prioritized the writing. I need to do better.

I just went back and read some stuff from 2007 and just had a blast walking down memory lane. It was fun to read about my friends K and S that I used to work with in Iowa and to read about all of the snow days we had back then. It was fun to look at pictures of my brother and his wife when they came to Iowa for Thanksgiving dinner in 2007 and we had a silly baby shower with just four people in attendance. Now that baby is almost 3 and has a baby sister. Time sure does fly.

So as I consider 2011 and set some goals, that may or may not be achievable, I think that writing should definitely be on the list. So it shall be. I am working on my OLW for the year and some resolutions. Tis the season. Stay tuned!


Image by Kristina B

I know this....

I just needed a reminder. I love Fred and my boys. Not because they keep good house, or cook great meals. I love them for who they are and who they make me. Seems like a good enough 500th post!

(Art by Stephanie Ackerman @ www.homegrownhospitality.typepad.com )

You are kidding me right?!

Why should I expect that in 17+ years of marriage that the norm would change. Why do I think that someday he will become all that I want and nothing that I don't? Why?

I woke this morning to the noise of a lawn mower and snoring. The lawn mower was being pushed by Jose as he mowed the neighbor's lawn. It was a reasonable 8:45 or so. The snoring of course was Fred. When I heard the mowing it made me think that the neighbor to the left had his lawn mowed last night. Now the neighbor to the right was having his done. That impact me because I care that my lawn is gonna look REALLY ratty next to two nicely mowed lawns. Did I mention that the heat index today was suppose to exceed 105 degrees? Just putting that out there.

So I thought that I would go ahead and at least mow the front yard. The sun starts in the back so there might be a smidgen of shade in the front. I'll take what I can get. At about 9:30 I head outside with my bottle of water and do the best I can do mowing the fron year. I then grab the weed whacker and take on the rough edges to Nic's job of mowing the across the street neighbor's yard which he has done for the last two weeks. Fred hasn't taught him to use the weed whacker yet so I just did it myself. Maybe I haven't asked him. Who knows.

After the mowing I am HOT so I go in, take a shower and try to find some food that will make the shaking in my hands stop. Between not eating breakfast before I mowed and the shaking that I sometimes get from the vibrations of the weed whacker I am a hot mess. I try OJ and some cereal and am feeling more like myself.

Once I have cleaned myself up and eaten I make a call to a friend and see what we can plan for the day. As a family we have no plans until tonight when we are supposed to go to a cocktail birthday party in the neighborhood.

Well, my pal could stand to go to Sam's and so could I. I also could use a couple of new Cricut mats and she says she thinks that they are on sale at JoAnn's. It's a reasonable plan to lets us spend some time together while also serving our families by getting things that we NEED like TOILET PAPER, Axe deodorant, and NesQuik. Essentials!

Well, when I left Will was playing on the iPad in my bed, Nic was dressed and upstairs playing on the PS3 and Fred was getting in the shower. I specifically asked Will to try his best to make my bed when he got done since I couldn't very well make it with him in it! When I returned from my running about 2.5 hours later what did I come home to find?

My bed unmade, my children upstairs, probably gaming, maybe not. Fred showered and moved to the LR couch watching something on the iPad with the television on and NOTHING else done, moved or changed in my house. There were clothes in the dryer, clothes in the laundry room that needed hung up. There was a pizza box on the island that needed to be put in the outside trash. There are always things on the stairs that just get passed by time and again that I'm about ready to throw away. I decided to to just do what I could then take a nap. It had been an exhausting short day. I laid down for a few, maybe 30 minutes and was awoken by my husband joining me in our bed. He was talking all sweet and annoying me. He left with the iPad and went back to the couch.

I knew I needed to get up and moving and think about dinner. I headed to the kitchen starving because I never did eat lunch. I feel certain that no one in my house did. I grabbed a small bowl of Frito's and headed to the LR. Sat in silence while Fred played on the iPad then tried to start a conversation. That went no where. He was too engrossed. I was too po'd. I headed to put some stuff from Sam's away, went back the LR where Will was munching on some pretzels. I sat on the recliner with him. We started reclining. We tipped over. We laughed. The pretzels spilled. Salt all over the floor. Fred played on the iPad. Nic came down and helped clean up the spill. I grabbed the dust buster. Will turned up his show and Fred played on the iPad. I was mad. I grabbed this laptop and I felt the need to vent. Here's the venting. Aren't you glad you stopped by?

Hello there, remember me?

It has been WAY toooooo long since I have posted and I am sorry. If there is anyone left out there reading I think I may try to get back to updating more frequently. I do find myself with more time here and there and I just really need to decide how I spend that time. Sharing a bit of myself seems like a good enough choice. Last week I had the pleasure of spending some time with Grandma Mary, Fred's grandmother on his mom's side. She is 95 years young and is facing some challenges of late. She is an amazing person and is sharp! She was sharing stories of her youth as if it were yesterday. My memory stinks and I am still on the young side. I decided that in order to remember some of the most important moments in life maybe I need to document more. I am really slacking in the scrapping department, working on that too by the way, but the 'ol blog should be doable... If I choose to DO!

Well, we at the Baker house are in the throws of summer 2010. We have returned from our summer trip to Indiana and have even made it to Austin and San Antonio for a little staycation fun. We have a couple more items on the calendar for the summer but nothing too major. I am headed to the Texas PTA convention in Austin at the end of the month and Nic is attending a Junior Police Academy as well. WB is chillaxin in the best ways he knows how and will also be playing baseball this fall. We have some shopping to do to get ready for that commitment!

On our way to our first stop in Indy we took a detour to the Rose Hulman Institute of Technology campus. The boys were pretty impressed with Fred's college but were a little taken back by the condition of the Triangle Fraternity House.

Well, I think I will throw up a couple of cool pics from our trip to Indiana last week and leave it at that for now. I am going to work on composing some deep thoughts in my head to share in another post next week. Stay tuned!

Fred chillin with newest niece Caroline and the Jerry and Betsy Traub bunch! All 17 of us. This is the first time since we have all been married that we have all been together including our wonderful spouses. It was a great time and would have only been made better if it were about a week longer. There never seems to be enough time!