January wrap-up

Well 31 days into the year and I already have a better blog record than all of last year. Feeling good about that! Guess that means that I am giving a little attention to at least one of my big rocks, my Happiness Creativity and Exercise rock. In reality this last week has been a little slim in the writing category but that is because other important things have been prioritized naturally through LIFE. So another lesson in living with INTENTION. Even my best INTENTIONS can get disrupted by LIFE!

So, an update on my BIG 5!

1) Marriage - It has been an interesting month. Some arguments, some dates, some discussion and we are reading a book simultaneously. That is HUGE! Fred is not a book reader but we found a book that peaked his interests so we are reading it together. I think he has taken the lead. But I'll catch up soon. It is a relationship book. Good to get another perspective on some things. Not sure if we both "buy" in 100% but we'll have something to talk about that's for sure.

2) Boys - My boys are amazing. I have tried to do some stuff with each boy this month. Nothing major but something that allows us to spend some time together. Will and I went to Sam's one day and saw a movie another night. Nic and I often have alone time on the way home from play practice. We did some volunteering together this month. Things are good here!

Got the people idea from Pinterest and made it my own.

3) Happiness, Exercise and Creativity - Well, I am pretty happy right this second. I have been exercising a bit this month. Not as much as I should or could but my pal Susan and I have walked and laughed and done some good moving "therapy" and I am pleased with that. I have taken some time this month to create a few things. I made a map family that shows where each of us was born. I also made a map of all of the major cities Fred and I have lived since we were married. It doesn't show all of the addresses but just the cities and states.  I have also been working on filling in a scrapbook album that I assembled a while ago. It was a kit and was 10 Things That Define Me. It have some stuff as surface as my 4 favorite movies and as deep as my 2 greatest fears. I am jumping around a bit and piecing it all together. It'll be cool when I'm done.

Picked up the cork page in Indiana last summer and embellished with my new favorite, paper rosettes.

4) Relationships with close friends and family - The friend stuff is going well. I am fostering them as much as I can considering my schedule. Working a bunch recently has limited my access to some friends but if I work hard enough I can squeeze in time. I grabbed a friend last week and we went to a movie late. We missed all of the previews, I NEVER do that, and had to RUN out at the end to get home in time to get her daughter. We both needed to escape. It was worth the effort.

5) Faith - Well, I am happy to say that I have working on this enough this month. I could spend more time in quiet contemplation, many people could, but the fact that we went to church TWICE in one month made my heart happy. The fact that my prayer journal pages are filling quickly and I am seeing results from my prayers is amazing. I have always prayed and have listed special intentions for as long as I can remember but only recently have I begun WRITING them in black and white. It is powerful and shows my INTENTION in not only saying "I'm praying for you." but actually doing it! I will probably have a few volumes for the year but that is okay. I have plenty of blank books and note pages around here to fill with every little request and praise for HIM.

So looking back at 31 days I am pleased. 2012 is going well. I am juggling my big rocks, little rocks and keeping the sand to a minimum. I do lose myself in DVR'd shows on occasion but that is okay. I am allowed to do that. I give myself permission to escape. It is good for the soul.

Looking ahead to February. I am thinking about special ways that I can express my LOVE for my family. I am thinking about special menu choices and maybe some poetry. Maybe. I do have every INTENTION of getting my New Years Cards in the mail. The envelopes are addressed, cards are signed, the letter is written but needs to be copied and I need to print the photos. I spoke a deadline to my pal Denise of Valentine's Day. Still completely doable.

I'm still around...

I plan to do a little first month wrap up tomorrow of my life of INTENTION. I've been subbing a bunch lately and working on my BIG rocks. Tomorrow, I promise!

Wiped out on a Wednesday. (Warning, it's wordy!)

What a week and we are only 1/2 way through. Sunday  morning I got a call to sub 1/2 on Monday afternoon and accepted. I love 1/2 day sub jobs and I love advanced notice. Well. Monday afternoon turned into Tuesday afternoon and also Wednesday afternoon. I had a great three days with my first grade friends. I am helping host some popcorn parties for classrooms that won our Box Top and Labels for Education campaigns for collecting the most. After the popcorn gets bagged I'm thrilled to have lunch with some girl friends then home to clean off the dining room table AGAIN. Friday I am subbing at a different school all day. It's a g$$d week for working!

Fred has been working long hours and weekends for a bit taking care of a BIG presentation at work. Today was D-day and he reports that it went well. Since he was up making improvements till 1AM this morning I would expect nothing less than greatness! This is Fred we are talking about.

Over the weekend I spent a little extra time with William. I dragged him away from the Xbox to join me at Sam's Club on Saturday then he and I went to see War Horse on Sunday. Nic was meeting some friends to see Hugo and rather than drop him off and leave him completely unattended at the mall, Will and I stuck around, grabbed him some baseball gear then caught the movie.

Funny story about War Horse. Will had mentioned at some point that he had read the book. He told me this last year. Before its release I planned on seeing the movie with him. Thinking that he would enjoy seeing the book adapted to the big screen.  So on the way out of the show he fessed up. Nic was talking about having read the book and Will copped to the reality that he had only read two pages. I was duped! He liked the movie very much but so much for the adaptation lesson.

Will did recently read The Hunger Games. Nic and I read the series a year or two ago and have been planning to see the first movie at whatever midnight premier we can get tickets to. I told Will that he couldn't join us unless he had read the book. The good news is that he liked the book and devoured the second in the series and started the third without delay. I always hoped that Will would love reading as much as Nic and I but we just hadn't seen that spark yet. Maybe, with the right subject matter he can become engaged. Finger crossed! So now we are all going to the premier on a school night and they think that is PRETTY DARN COOL!

Getting late. Time to sleep. I'll be back tomorrow!

I missed a few...

I slipped but I'm back. I thought about blogging about SOPA/PIPA on Wednesday but I couldn't figure out how to block out my banner so I just said skip it. Another day perhaps.

Yesterday I just had too good a day to stop and blog. I think that is a good thing. Today is going gang busters too but I'm going to pause while I wait for my lunch to be delivered.

Yep, lunch. delivered. My pal Jeanne called on her way out to get herself  lunch and she offered to get me something too. Just a baked potato but it sounded good and hey FREE delivery can't be beat.

My day started off choppy. Got the kids up and moving. Sent them and Fred out the door and headed back to bed. I slept poorly last night and the sub calls started coming at 5AM! There were MANY sub calls and they were all on the west side or at the middle or high school level. Nothing I felt motivated to respond to in the positive. So, I slept a little longer then had planned to meet my pal Susan at 10 to walk. Well, Griffin came a snuggled at 9:55. A sure sign that I wasn't supposed to walk today. I texted Susan a picture and she wasn't buying what I was selling. Damn. I dragged myself out of bed and we walked. We ran into neighbors, dropped off dry cleaning and had a great 3 mile walk. It was worth the effort. Thank you Susan. Sorry kitty.

Once I got home and cooled down I took care of some lingering PTA business. I have a few more things on my PTA to do list but after lunch. I'll still get them done today. Lots of time.

I also have laundry going and I have a dinner plan! It is shaping up to be a banner day. I hope the boys have a good day at school. Nic is having to say goodbye to a friend who is moving to NV. She has been his buddy for 3.5 year and we will miss BonBon as she moves along on her life adventure. They wanted to have a party at lunch today but the school said no. So, they are gathering in a teacher's classroom after school to hang and snack and linger just a bit longer. I think it is sweet. They come up with the plan all on their own and with just a little prodding got the details worked out. Good stuff.

The weather here in Frisco is AMAZING today. The sun is shining. There is a slight breeze and the sky is BLUE BLUE BLUE. My life is good. No, actually it is AMAZING! And I am so thankful for all of the blessings I have received and hope to continue to receive.

Today is Tuesday.

This kid is cooler than anyone knows. This boy knows how to scare his mother but also knows the way to my heart.. hugs and puppy dog eyes. Sweet sweet William. Always ready to offer up a well played sarcastic comment. His timing is amazing, which I consider genetic of course, and his smile is endearing. What more could a mom ask for?

Working at the quarry on my BIG rocks.

So I was working on my big rocks yesterday when I gathered my family and we attended church. Together. We haven't been too regular in the feeding our faith department in the last 8 month or so. It was time. We went to church on Christmas eve because it wouldn't be Christmas without going to church but hadn't been in quite some time before that.

I have been a BELIEVER my whole life. I have never questioned the existence of God. I have never considered the story of Jesus to be anything but historic and true. I was born into the Catholic religion and served and worshipped that way faithfully for about... 37 years. I have left and returned. I was even once called a heretic during a speech contest at my Catholic college but still was allowed to participate. I have gone so far as to long to be a nun, or better yet a priest, at the minimum I wanted to be an alter server. I have professed my faith in the blood and body of Christ. But my longing to be a mother won out over church doctrine and I married Fred. The ceremony was blessed by the church and we eventually started a family. From there I served in the church where and when I could. I was a lector, a communion minister, I subbed in religious education classes, and helped raise money for the needy.  More recently I have looked more closely at my beliefs and I do not see myself aligning completely with the Catholic church. Truth be told it has been a long time since I blindly accepted what they were telling me.  My boys were baptized in the Catholic church and have each taken part in the sacraments of reconciliation and Eucharist. Fred the same. But all those sacraments don't make us any more christian than our own personal beliefs do. As the spiritual leader of my family, not necessarily by choice, I am feeling the need to replant ourselves at a new church this year. To get back to GOD. We could have stayed put and been "cafeteria Catholics" that pick and chose what we agree with and what we don't. I have been in that group for a while but never felt good about it. Never felt pure of spirit. The guilt over the guilt was just too much.


The church we attended yesterday was called Crosspoint. It is a nice church, not too far from our home. We know a few families that attend there. It is VERY contemporary compared to what we are used to. However, since the majority of what I listen on the radio in the car is Christian music we were all pretty much able to sing along. The service started with 4-5 songs. Then a bit of prayer, another song and then the meat of the service, a sermon from Pastor Mark. He had a little help from some members of the church who were encouraging people to consider giving of their time and talents to the children's ministry. A common plea no matter what church you attend right? Pastor Mark preached about Luke 22: 24-38 and spent about 25 minutes explaining to me the significance of  14 verses from an AMAZING book full of significant verses. The boys did great at engaging and paying attention and a conversation later in the evening showed direct application of the messages of the sermon. I was so thrilled. Most days that we went to the Catholic church the boys could not even tell me what the reading was, let alone what the homily topic was. My heart filled with joy.

I am not fully satisfied the Crosspoint is where we will stay and worship. I need to learn more about them and they need to learn more about us. They may not want us. I'm not sure I want to participate in early childhood ministry. 

Today I am grateful for the choices that we have as a family. We will continue to search for a faith community that feels welcoming. A church where we can worship and serve, yes I heard you Pastor Mark!, and join in christian fellowship with other believers. I am looking forward to the next portion of this faith journey that we will take part in together. The boys' opinion count and I want them to feel comfortable wherever we land.

New signage

I have a No Soliciting sign on my front window. It works pretty well. I need to update it though. I want it to read...

No Soliciting unless... you are a Girl Scout selling cookies.

Then after cookie sales are over I want to change it to...

No Soliciting.... even if you are giving away GOD for FREE!

Always something to learn...

I like to learn new stuff. I have talked forever about taking an actual class in ___(insert something creative here)_____ ,in order to learn something new. Alas, have not done anything of the kind. Well, even without the "formal" educational process I have learned more than I ever needed to know about a few topics. Then I turn a page or have a conversation and learn another tidbit.

Photo by Zeetz Jones on Flickr

I do love the idea that I am going to sleep a little more informed tonight but I still have so many questions. Questions that Siri might be able to answer. That is kind of a funny thought. Siri has been a part of our lives ever since Nic upgraded his phone in November. She isn't really that smart but we have utilized her ability once or twice with success. A couple of weeks ago we asked her who invented the drinking straw. Will had asked me the question when we were riding in the car after a trip through McDonald's to get drinks.  Siri completed a web search and shared an answer. Of course I can not remember who it was. No Jeopardy win for me. But it felt smart at the time to ask a question and even with the help of artificial intelligence, get an answer.

I feel like the blog is going to force me to learn a few things this year. If I keep up this pace I'll need to do some research and become more informed in my writing. That could be a really good and fun thing. At least in the end I won't be graded nor will I need to defend a dissertation.

My life of INTENTION

How much is enough? INTENTION that is...  (Spoiler alert, there is no answer at the end of this post. Just a bunch more questions!)

Tonight my family went to Chick-fil-A to support our elementary school in their monthly fundraising night. We eat, we pay, Chick-fil-A cuts a check to the school for a portion. Seems like a real win win. I do love their lemonade.

Well, my posting of this event on FB received a number of responses and one really made me stop and think. A FB friend announced that he no longer eats at CFA since they reportedly made a significant number of contribution to anti-gay religious groups.  He said "$2 Million for anti-gay rhetoric aint righteous."  I did some checking and found that there are factions who believe that by making donations to religious groups who denounce gay relationships and marriage they CFA must support that same ideal. CFA denies that and, Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy defended the chain saying, "We're not anti-anybody... Our mission is to create raving fans."

As a person who believes in equal rights for everyone. I take pause. Does that mean I shouldn't eat there? That they don't need my money to back their donations? That I shouldn't attend CFA Leadercast in May? Hmmm?

I have never been too political. I mean, I vote. I gave my first donation to a political campaign last year but it was a non-partisan local election. I have personal conviction but do I act with INTENTION about those each and every day? Do I make choices with my spending of time and money that are in line with my convictions?  I have choices. I could become more informed. But can I know enough? And do I have the fortitude to act on all of it?

Well, I guess not yet. I eat at Chick-fil-A. I shop at Target. I am not a vegan or even a vegetarian (obviously, I eat chicken and use honey on biscuits). I make donations to Susan G Koemen but not the March of Dimes.  I watch Ellen, and sometimes go to church but I also read books that include references to sex outside of marriage and I watch R rated movies full of cursing and violence. I even let my kids play "questionable" video games. Does all of that make me a hypocrite?

I think that in this year ahead I INTEND to consider about these issues and so much more. Perhaps I should have just made my word for the year GRATITUDE.  (Please respect the the unwritten and maybe even written OLW rules say that you can change your word.)

Today is Tuesday

There is catnip on that sparkling ball.

Have you met Griffin Gifford Sammy Nosey Parker yet?

Last fall our family adopted Griffin from a friend of mine. She is going to have a baby any second and she wanted to get rid of her more "active" cat before adding the new baby to her family. We were in the market and the stars aligned. We adopted Griffin in October and when I was telling my pal Sabrina about the cat she accidentally referred to him as Gifford. Nickname #1 was born.

Fred and I both caught ourselves calling the cat Sammy when he first arrived. The last house cat the Fred and I shared was Sammy who was part of our family way back before the Fabulous Baker Boys were around. Griffin and Sammy have very similar features. Easy slip.

Catnip is long gone but the playfulness lingers.

Well, then we got to know Griffin and what we know about him is that he is VERY NOSEY! If you open a drawer he climbs in. If he is curious he may just open a cabinet all by himself and explore the depth of it. We have yet to teach the cat to close the cabinets. (I'm not optimistic by the way.)  Nosey Parker is a character from Skinnamarink, a kid show from the Canadian Broadcast Network that we used to see up in Michigan. She was a nosey neighbor that kept an eye on kids in the park. Griffin is Nosey Parker about everything happening in this house. He has explored the attic, loves to sneak out into the garage and is also quite a climber.

Now you know the story behind the cat's full confirmation name, Griffin Gifford Sammy Nosey Parker.

Honestly, truly, I love you!

Is there such a thing as over sharing? Of course I know that the answer to this is YES! I try not to go there. I try not to be an completely open book. Who really cares?  I kind of figure that very few people actually read this blog and it is more a of a diary for me. Something for me to look back on and get reminders of the good and the bad over the last 6 years. I do share though, that is the intent of this blog. But who really visits my little 'ol blog? To be totally honest I have no idea.

I do know that my husband sometimes reads it and if he saw the post from yesterday he might be mad at me. Probably more than might. He thinks I share too much. I'm sure he'd be ticked that I shared his uncensored comment. But here's the thing. I am not mad at him for making the comment. I love him for making the comment. For finding a way to tell me something that is on his mind. To share with me like no one else can. 20+ years into our relationship and this is what I signed up for. He is like the 10X magnified make-up mirror with side-lights that Jennifer and I had when we were in HS. Scary but necessary. Sometime I wish that other people in my life would be that honest. And of course there are times when I hope that they aren't. I know that there are times that I need to be more honest with my friends or family. It's hard, you know? Well, of course you do.

I feel that you should consider your motivation behind the need to share your opinion and the intention behind the oh so honest comments. If the need is selfish and the intention is cruel then shut up and move on. If the need is one of perceived protection, and the intention is love, then tread carefully and gently and forge ahead. Fred and I tend to be honest with humor. It stings less but you do have to make sure that your special someone gets the joke.

I was talking to a friend recently about an instance in her life where someone had the opportunity to be honest and wasn't. Their holding back actually hurt much more than their honesty would have. In the end both parties held grudges and suffered. It could have gone differently had someone been honest with themselves and then honest with my friend.

I am not suggesting that you need to mention every little thing to every acquaintance that you have. Make it meaningful, don't seek the opportunity but if it comes about... If you have a chance to speak with concern and love then do not hesitate. Fred didn't and I love him for that!

Things that make you go hmmmm. Or maybe it's just me.

A random conversation with my husband today leaves me wondering. I will probably never have an answer to my pondering or perhaps I will. That may not be a good thing. Read on...

Fred jumped in to help me fold some laundry today. Jokingly he mention that thong underwear would be so much better then briefs because there would be less material. His argument is totally CRAZY but my response was my standard. I do not want to walk around with the feeling of something up my butt all day. Standard, canned, 10+ year old answer. His response to that is what has me wondering. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, "well people probably think you do anyway." He was not saying that people think I wear thong underwear. He was saying that people think I have a stick up my butt!

Is that true?

He went on to say that some of the ladies that I work with, certainly referring to my PTA cohorts, might think that I am a biatch with a stick up my a**. I had never considered it. I had never thought of it. I was mortified. What if it is true? If my husband thinks that and actually said it then maybe it is. He is safe. He can say things like that with a free pass. Not a totally free pass but you know, spousal leniency. We have the right to share those things with each other after being together for 20 years. Like I can tell him if his breath stinks or that I think he needs to stand up straighter or be nicer to our kids. He can tell me if I am being a biatch. So is that what he just said? Do people really think that?

I'm going to be checking over my shoulder for a few weeks wondering. Am I being stuck up? Am I being sincere? Am I sending off the vibe of a goody two shoes? Am I acting as a servant leader or a dictatorial snob?  Certainly there should not be bitchiness in my life of INTENTION.

Do Something Saturday!

Saturdays can go down in history as awesome or lame. I remember before kids when Fred and I used to stay in bed till noon, watch Saturday movies till 4 then shower and head out to dinner. That scenario hasn't played out in about 13 + years. More recently I tend to use Saturdays to play catch up on laundry, changing sheets, grocery shopping, PTA work and keeping boys on track with doing something productive.

Sometimes we all head to a movie or someone has practice of some type or another. Sometimes we all stay in our pj's and just order pizza for dinner. I would rather put my head to my pillow at the end of the day feeling like I have accomplished something. Now and again that happens.  Today was one of those days.

Fred and I both crashed before 10 PM last night. I slept REALLY well until 8:30. It felt great! I had made plans with my neighbor to walk for about 45 mins this morning starting at 10. We have been trying to motivate each other. It goes better and actually happens when we have someone counting on us. Well, Susan texted me at 9 saying our 10 o'clock date was a no go. I wasn't too sad as I lay in bed reading the news on my phone. I replied a note of disappointment and settled in. 20 mins later she texts again and tells me she is back in. Darn. No excuses, it was time to get up.

Susan and I had a great walk that ended with warm drinks at Starbucks. Upon my return, Fred and I loaded up his truck with some materials to go to the recycle center. We got rid of our plastic bags, cardboard and CFL and florescent light bulbs. However, in the process of saving the planet I bit the dust as I tripped over a rock. I am such a klutz! We returned home where I attempted to sooth my aches with a HOT shower. After a little sit down I ran to the grocery for a few necessities. I was going to beg for a kitchen pass but ended up figuring out that I had all the makings for lasagna. Everyone ate well.

I was on a bit of a roll so I harnessed a bit more energy and tackled a pantry clean-out that had been on my to do list all week. The recycle bin was full, the trash was full and the shelves are in order. For tonight at least. I DID SOME THINGS today! I'm gonna sleep well.

I did my part... and some sappy too.

So in my attempt to live with INTENTION I am trying to diversify my volunteering. Instead of limiting myself to just school and PTA activities I have stepped up and lent my hand to the City of Frisco as a community volunteer. Last fall I helped out at the annual Storytelling Festival. Today I acted as a hostess at a local hotel for fans coming in for the NCAA Division 1 Championship game being played locally in Frisco. The hostess gig was pretty slow. I greeted less than 5 fans. It will be a much bigger deal to have hosts there tomorrow. Unfortunately I only signed on for today.

I'm not sure how much volunteering I will do with the City but it is a fun diversion from PTA politics and the occasional bit of drama. It would have been more fun to do it with friends, like the wonderful ones I have in PTA, but maybe I'll take a few of them with me into the city volunteer opportunities.

Tomorrow I will work on my INTENTION of contributing to my family by working and earning REAL MONEY! I am subbing in 4th grade and can't wait. It's Friday so I get to wear jeans. I'm subbing at Ashley so I can even run home for lunch. I get to see some of my favorite kiddos, who don't belong to me, throughout the day. Subbing is such a wonderful opportunity for me. I have said for years that I wanted to be a school secretary but since that job is currently full subbing will have to do. I like to believe that I am a good sub and I sincerely try to attempt the teacher's lesson plans. Some days though I feel certain that they could not even get through their plan. No way I could either. This took some time to learn but I have.

Two more things to say then I'm off to the going to bed routine, you know the fifteen things you need to wrap up before you actually get into bed. One random and one sappy.

First, I swallowed a Jolly Rancher nearly whole tonight and now have a tummy ache. Ugh. Nic was ready to offer me the Heimlich but I was not in danger. I was just bummed that I didn't get to enjoy the candy longer.

Second, I love my husband with my whole heart. He is such a hardworking and supportive man. He knew when he met me that I was a crazy person who volunteers and offers to help at every turn. He supports me in my crazy and works really hard for our family so that I can continue being this way. I just want it known that I recognize this and am grateful beyond words and measure. I was talking to a friend this week about "replacing" a husband if he dies to soon. My friend and I agreed that no one could replace our guy. He is one of a kind.

My Life of Intention

So what I have found in four short days is that living life with INTENTION takes work. I might have assumed that before I chose  my word but it has been confirmed. Living life with INTENTION means being very truthful and honest with yourself and of course with other people. Now you might be thinking, how hard can that be? As a person of virtue and a follower of Christ surely honesty is who you are each and every day. Well... I have an example that actually has a little something to do with Christ Himself.

A couple of years ago my dear friend invited me to join Moms in Touch. This is an international group with local "chapters" that meet weekly to pray for their children and the schools where their children attend. We pray for our kids, the kids of the other moms there, the teachers and staff and the events at the school. MIT has a formula that they use for the meetings and I knew from the first time I attended that the formula, the manner in which they pray, was well outside of my personal comfort zone. I am not a Bible scholar. I do not frequently expound with extemporaneous oral prayer. I do not close my eyes and feel Jesus speaking through me. God bless those who do. I am in awe.

Well, MIT meets weekly during the school year and I attended about 4 meeting my first year. The second year I may have attended a few more but each time I would be nervous and anxious and feel inadequate. Thankfully my friend who invited me to the group tweaked the formula a bit and that helped but I still struggled with the vocal prayer part. Really really struggled. A representative of the area MIT organization came to one of our meeting once to pray with us and she pretty much told me that my fear was me listening to the devil whispering on my shoulder telling me that I was not good enough to speak to God.  WOW!  I think she was wrong but I certainly didn't feel any more holy or prayerful at subsequent meetings. But, I also didn't give up.

Fast forward to this past fall. Both Baker boys in middle school and the MIT group was new and my pal wasn't the leader and the formula was back in place. Ugh, what do I do?  I love the idea of praying for my kids. I like the idea of praying for the other kids and the moms and the teachers. The principle of MIT is sound. I just didn't feel safe and sound when I was there. I joined up again, and even invited others to join me. I attended regularly enough but often accepted sub jobs with glee when they fell on MIT days, avoidance much?

So we are starting a new year and the MIT meeting was scheduled for this  morning. Last night when I received the reminder email I just knew. I knew that in my INTENTIONAL life I needed to be free of this. I can pray for my kids any day and all day. I can pray for any other kids in the world or on my street at at my schools. I can read the Bible and find inspiration and act when people ask me to pray for a special intention that they have in their lives. I can do all of those things in my own home, in my own heart and I do not have to utter a single word out loud. I can be a follower of Christ alone and have a relationship with Him where I am today. I made this choice with all of the INTENTION I could muster and the leader accepted my leave with all the grace she could. I was being dishonest with myself and with God. It wasn't fair to me or with Her. I am free now. AMEN!

Oh my! I need to

Oh my! I need to update my profile. I'm not a late 30's mom any longer.

Today is Tuesday

I have never really minded Monday. I am usually ready for a "normal" day after a weekend of less structure so Monday is actually a good day in my book. Tuesday on the other hand isn't always TERRIFIC! Sometimes by Tuesday I have lost my way. My To Do list is usually long but my motivation is short. I often have meetings on Tuesday.  So what I am thinking is that on Tuesday I will give myself a blogging break and just post a quick quote or story that I enjoy. Something that made me think or gave me a shiver or perhaps even made me SMILE.

Tuesday will be cut me some slack day around here. Hope you think, or shiver or SMILE right along with me.

Nic playing Ralph Herdman in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Within that role he played Joseph in the Christmas Pageant. So sweet to see my boy on stage.

Big Rocks

So there is a story that I have heard before about filling a jar with rocks. If you put small pebbles in first, then mid-sized rocks, then the large rocks they won't all fit in the jar.  What a person should do is put the largest rocks in first, then the mid-sized rocks then the smallest pebbles fill in the space that is left.

So when I consider living my life with INTENTION I want to look at a few of the most important components of my life (the BIG rocks) and put them at the forefront of my life. Not saying that I can't put some medium sized stones and lots of little pebbles in my jar but I need to make sure I place the BIG rocks first.

My BIG rocks include
1) my marriage to Fred
2) my sons Nicholas and William
3) my personal happiness, exercise and creativity time (Yes, that is a category on my calendar)
4) my closest and most important relationships with family and friends.
5) my faith

My mid-sized rocks include
1) my "professional life" as a substitute
2) my "volunteer life" as a PTA and community volunteer
3) All the other little things I do for others
4) Creating and documenting my family story in scrapbooks

My little pebbles are
laundry, cleaning, ironing, movies, anything on my DVR, and a whole lot more. 

The littlest of pebbles are not inconsequential things. They have their place in my life but they are not BIG rocks. Can you name your BIG rocks and do you place them in your jar first?

Living a life with Intention

Plan, purpose, forethought, investment, direction. Words within my OLW for 2012. I plan to live with INTENTION. To travel through my days with purpose and direction. I have a plan that relates to much more than just a "To Do" list of tasks. I want my "Daily INTENTION" list to be broader and more meaningful.  I want to put things on this list like, check in with William to see how he is feeling about life.  We can do that over a lunch-time meal, or emptying the dishwasher together. I just need to connect and find the answers all day long. Sure, I'll still need to do the laundry and run the errands this year but perhaps with a shift in my own engagement, I can see the deeper meaning behind such mundane tasks and respond to that with more meaningful engagement on my part. I will however use connecting with my children, REALLY REALLY engaging with them, as an excuse ANY DAY to not do the mundane and sometimes it will even trump the slightly more important stuff.

I loathe cooking. It's not even really the cooking part. It's the prep and clean-up that get me. I need to look at feeding my family as more than just putting a meal on a plate. I need to consider that this food that nourishes their bodies may be the best thing they eat all day. That the time we spend together around the table may be the most meaningful interaction that my boys have all day. They need that. All three of them. The INTENTION of the family meal is so much more than just meat and some sides on a plate. (Wonder how long that mind-set will last?) I think I'll need a plaque in my kitchen to remind me daily.

Living with INTENTION is going to take lots of work. I am going to need to better understand my own purpose and direction to keep my real INTENTION at the forefront and understood. I will need to weed out some things that don't fall within my new limits of focus. That may hurt a little. I won't be too drastic but I will be INTENTIONAL.

Nic and I are going to NY this year on a Theater/Art trip. The INTENTION of this trip was originally pure fun. I think that will shift. Nic and I are going to experience something together that no one else in the family has. We can find meaning in that beyond three Broadway shows and a couple of museums on very little sleep. The purpose/INTENTION of this excursion may be to connect Nic and I in a special way. To prepare him for HS knowing that his mama has got his back. That we can share and communicate on a level all our own. That we will always have NY in the summer...

I think that one reason I chose the word INTENTION is that when I made my long long list of possibilities I saw many areas of my life that deserved great attention this year. My HOME, my FAMILY, my LOVE. I think that INTENTION allows me to direct some personal energy toward all of those things and more. A monthly "date night" with my husband. An annual road-trip with my boys, or perhaps some planned ME time to create, or even to do NOTHING but sit in the quiet and listen to GOD.

I am going to take some time in the coming week to flesh out my plan a bit. In the meantime I can work on some reasonable decluttering that is usually inspired by a new year. Today I can clean out some drawers and cabinets in my kitchen. Maybe if I know and appreciate the tools that I use to prepare those meals for my family it won't be such a chore? I also hope to do some menu planning as a family and maybe just maybe even give the boys some directives on what they can do to help after dinner beyond putting dishes in the dishwasher. Perhaps this INTENTION stuff could wear off on everyone.