My Life of Intention

So what I have found in four short days is that living life with INTENTION takes work. I might have assumed that before I chose  my word but it has been confirmed. Living life with INTENTION means being very truthful and honest with yourself and of course with other people. Now you might be thinking, how hard can that be? As a person of virtue and a follower of Christ surely honesty is who you are each and every day. Well... I have an example that actually has a little something to do with Christ Himself.

A couple of years ago my dear friend invited me to join Moms in Touch. This is an international group with local "chapters" that meet weekly to pray for their children and the schools where their children attend. We pray for our kids, the kids of the other moms there, the teachers and staff and the events at the school. MIT has a formula that they use for the meetings and I knew from the first time I attended that the formula, the manner in which they pray, was well outside of my personal comfort zone. I am not a Bible scholar. I do not frequently expound with extemporaneous oral prayer. I do not close my eyes and feel Jesus speaking through me. God bless those who do. I am in awe.

Well, MIT meets weekly during the school year and I attended about 4 meeting my first year. The second year I may have attended a few more but each time I would be nervous and anxious and feel inadequate. Thankfully my friend who invited me to the group tweaked the formula a bit and that helped but I still struggled with the vocal prayer part. Really really struggled. A representative of the area MIT organization came to one of our meeting once to pray with us and she pretty much told me that my fear was me listening to the devil whispering on my shoulder telling me that I was not good enough to speak to God.  WOW!  I think she was wrong but I certainly didn't feel any more holy or prayerful at subsequent meetings. But, I also didn't give up.

Fast forward to this past fall. Both Baker boys in middle school and the MIT group was new and my pal wasn't the leader and the formula was back in place. Ugh, what do I do?  I love the idea of praying for my kids. I like the idea of praying for the other kids and the moms and the teachers. The principle of MIT is sound. I just didn't feel safe and sound when I was there. I joined up again, and even invited others to join me. I attended regularly enough but often accepted sub jobs with glee when they fell on MIT days, avoidance much?

So we are starting a new year and the MIT meeting was scheduled for this  morning. Last night when I received the reminder email I just knew. I knew that in my INTENTIONAL life I needed to be free of this. I can pray for my kids any day and all day. I can pray for any other kids in the world or on my street at at my schools. I can read the Bible and find inspiration and act when people ask me to pray for a special intention that they have in their lives. I can do all of those things in my own home, in my own heart and I do not have to utter a single word out loud. I can be a follower of Christ alone and have a relationship with Him where I am today. I made this choice with all of the INTENTION I could muster and the leader accepted my leave with all the grace she could. I was being dishonest with myself and with God. It wasn't fair to me or with Her. I am free now. AMEN!