He made me feel like lousy parent...

The he in this sentence is the boys' pediatrician. Dr. J was on our list of to do's today. It was time for Will's well child check up. I knew that a certain subject would come up and I am not happy about the progress made in this area but I also feel like Will is a stubborn child. He has made great strides this summer in swimming and eating and other independence type things that I have resigned myself to the fact that if he still has issues with poop that this too will come in time. This poop discussion has been going on for a LONG time but it is far from over and I know this. Well, the doctor talked to me like I was two, he asked if we had gone over the "constipation handout" we had, last year. I can not tell you where my copy is but I do remember reading it. He gave me another one. I have read it again. You know what it says? It says that if your kid eats all things healthy and drinks all things healthy that he will have good colon health. NO SH*T Sherlock! Well, my kid loves chocolate milk, "You should be restricting all dairy!" My kid will eat apples, bananas, and green grapes, on a really good day. "He should eat peaches, pears, plums and not apples or bananas." UGH! SO I leave feeling like a crappy mom because crap is still an issue at my house! Do I need this? The answer is a definitive NO!

Fast forward to tonight... Fred and I are trying to catch up on our day, the phone rings, Will kindly answers it, it is my BFF Denise, back from Boy Scout Jamboree, haven't talked in three weeks! She engages in conversation with Will and it is all good until he starts going on and on about all the electronics that have stimulated his brain this summer. He doesn't mention the swimming pool, playing football or basketball, just goes on and on about the electronics. Well, BFF Denise has held firm to her limited electronic position and her boy doesn't even have a Game Boy at her house, only with his dad, or so I have heard. When they have free time they do puzzles, play boardgames, TALK, camp and have good clean fun. I am jealous of her parenting, she is pretty darn good at it. I don't need her hearing how bad I am at it. The best thing about BFF Denise is that she will not judge but at that moment it did not make me feel better. I broke down and was sad that the boys and I did not do more stimulating activities this summer. That we didn't ever make it to the Iowa Children's Museum, that we didn't read more books, that we didn't do flash cards and write make believe stories or even journal about what few things we did do over the summer. Now the summer is over.

Number three I feel like a crappy parent indicator. I am going to work tomorrow. Granted it is only 1/2 day, but it is work. If I didn't work I could take them to the museum, read to them, have more energy for play and stuff. Or so I think. Maybe if I didn't work I would be a recluse who knows no one and stays home watching soap operas and judge shows all day. I can not win this battle in my head. I give.

So as I lay in bed and try to get to sleep since I must get up at 6:30 tomorrow, my mind runs and spins, and I get dizzy with it all but not tired enough to fall asleep. I thought writing it all out might help. Guess I'll try to sleep again and let you know tomorrow... Stay tuned for the rest of the story.